It: the feeling you get when you realize that you will truly miss someone/something, that you are really leaving and that life here will move on without you.
"It" is not a good feeling.
I had my first "it" moment today actually. I went out to a friend's cottage and was saying goodbye to his grand parents, whom I love dearly, when it hit me. Completely out of the blue was this overwhelming feeling of sadness. We were talking about old times and my grandfather, whom I still miss, and I suddenly wanted to cry. It occurred to me that I'm really leaving and that sometimes people might not be here when I get back. I had a very somber car ride home.
All along this has been exciting and fun and one grand adventure, except when it's been stressful, but it has never been sad. It started to get sad. I'm leaving and life is going to change and continue for everyone else. There is no pause button for this. I'm going to miss a lot. I know that I'm gaining so much, but right now, it feels a lot like loss.
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