I'm worrier with a touch of OCD and a need for absolute perfection, so you can imagine that sometimes I overwhelm myself. There are a lot of things going on right now that I could be worrying about but I'm trying a new thing - stop worrying. Now this a major work in progress for me because every time I think "Christmas concert" or "family" I start to worry. However, worrying isn't going to do anything but make me feel like I'm drowning in things I can't control.
I can however, pray. Here's what I've learnt: this concert isn't about me and I can't make it perfect. I can do the best I am capable and leave it up to the Almighty, who it designed to praise anyway. God deserves my best, not my need for perfection. My perfectionist tendencies can't be the thing that takes the light off of God.
I'm 10,000 miles away and I have to put my family in God's hands and leave them there. I'm learning that there are things that I can't control, that I will never be able to control and there are things that God wants me to have no control over. This is hard for someone who wants to control everything. I'm still learning this one. I can't will people better but I can pray to the God who promises to never leave us alone. That's a hard one for me, it always has been - the idea of where is God when life happens. I'm very slowly learning that even though I have no idea why God allows somethings to happen, I know it ultimately brings Him glory and He's with me in whatever storm I have to face. Even if I never see Him, He's there. Life sucks sometimes, not God.
My favourite verse: I will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). That's written on permanent marker on my keyboard so when I open my laptop it's the first and last thing I see.
This is currently my favourite song because the promise of something more contained within:
This is a love
Deep in the soul
O when you love
O when you love
The veil is torn
Mystery pours
Down from above
Down from above
And yet we are under benediction
So there is grace
Hallelujah, we rejoice
What a Savior
What a King
Hallelujah, lift your voice
To our Savior
To our King
O please do stay
Where you remain
Do not fall
Do not fall
Something greater
Is on the way
Just hang on
Try to hang on
Try to hang on
The love of angels
Becomes a love anew
O heavenly light
Takes on a fair skin
What a Savior
What a King
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Say Something...
Busy is really the only word to describe my life right now. Christmas concerts, SAT prep, extra-curricular activities and endless amounts of marking. It's a good thing I love it all.
I've discovered, learnt and been taught a few things in and amongst the business of life:
1)Be very specific about what you wish for. For example: if you say you want/need a vacation, make it clear that it should involve a beach otherwise you might get stung by a bee and be laid up for a week. Bee stings do not equal vacation.
2)If you assign something in MLA formatting, make sure everyone knows what that is and how to use it.
3)Really, Christmas concerts are misnamed. They should be labeled the "Start preparation in August but put the show on in December" concerts.
4)Essay questions are great ways to show knowledge, however they requiring a great deal of marking.
5)Make sure the students don't finish the assigned book before you do. Although this was a massive shock!
6)Romeo and Juliet both kind of suck and are overly dramatic. (Thank you 9th grade boys!)
7)Everyone in Macbeth is screwed up and they have no sense of logic. (12th grade)
8)"Your fate is decided by your actions and that it is not an excuse to do whatever you want. We are responsible for the choices we make." A very smart 12th grader discussing Macbeth.
9)Recycled art is seriously fun. Breaking computers apart is a really good stress reliever.
10)When someone tells you that they respect you, or that they appreciate you or that you've changed their opinion of your subject it is the best feeling ever. Totally turns bad days into great ones.
I've discovered, learnt and been taught a few things in and amongst the business of life:
1)Be very specific about what you wish for. For example: if you say you want/need a vacation, make it clear that it should involve a beach otherwise you might get stung by a bee and be laid up for a week. Bee stings do not equal vacation.
2)If you assign something in MLA formatting, make sure everyone knows what that is and how to use it.
3)Really, Christmas concerts are misnamed. They should be labeled the "Start preparation in August but put the show on in December" concerts.
4)Essay questions are great ways to show knowledge, however they requiring a great deal of marking.
5)Make sure the students don't finish the assigned book before you do. Although this was a massive shock!
6)Romeo and Juliet both kind of suck and are overly dramatic. (Thank you 9th grade boys!)
7)Everyone in Macbeth is screwed up and they have no sense of logic. (12th grade)
8)"Your fate is decided by your actions and that it is not an excuse to do whatever you want. We are responsible for the choices we make." A very smart 12th grader discussing Macbeth.
9)Recycled art is seriously fun. Breaking computers apart is a really good stress reliever.
10)When someone tells you that they respect you, or that they appreciate you or that you've changed their opinion of your subject it is the best feeling ever. Totally turns bad days into great ones.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
I Will Survive...
Some weeks are amazing here and some are rough. This one has been rough.
I got stung by a bee. In most cases this is nothing and you keep going with your everyday life. However if you don't realize what happened and you let the stinger poison you for three days and get a massive infection then it kind of does stop your world for a bit. It also helps that I'm allergic to penicillin and so the drugs that I needed to take ended up making me sick.
So 3 trips to the doctor and the pharmacy, one very scary epi-pen which I put together myself, and too many bottles of Gatorade later - I will be okay. I'm still tired and drained and doing too much is hard but the infection is going away and I'm recovering. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me! I appreciate it. Now pray for my friend Nicole, she needs all your prayers this week!
I got stung by a bee. In most cases this is nothing and you keep going with your everyday life. However if you don't realize what happened and you let the stinger poison you for three days and get a massive infection then it kind of does stop your world for a bit. It also helps that I'm allergic to penicillin and so the drugs that I needed to take ended up making me sick.
So 3 trips to the doctor and the pharmacy, one very scary epi-pen which I put together myself, and too many bottles of Gatorade later - I will be okay. I'm still tired and drained and doing too much is hard but the infection is going away and I'm recovering. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me! I appreciate it. Now pray for my friend Nicole, she needs all your prayers this week!
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