We are Loved...

I'm worrier with a touch of OCD and a need for absolute perfection, so you can imagine that sometimes I overwhelm myself. There are a lot of things going on right now that I could be worrying about but I'm trying a new thing - stop worrying. Now this a major work in progress for me because every time I think "Christmas concert" or "family" I start to worry. However, worrying isn't going to do anything but make me feel like I'm drowning in things I can't control.

I can however, pray. Here's what I've learnt: this concert isn't about me and I can't make it perfect. I can do the best I am capable and leave it up to the Almighty, who it designed to praise anyway. God deserves my best, not my need for perfection. My perfectionist tendencies can't be the thing that takes the light off of God.

I'm 10,000 miles away and I have to put my family in God's hands and leave them there. I'm learning that there are things that I can't control, that I will never be able to control and there are things that God wants me to have no control over. This is hard for someone who wants to control everything. I'm still learning this one. I can't will people better but I can pray to the God who promises to never leave us alone. That's a hard one for me, it always has been - the idea of where is God when life happens. I'm very slowly learning that even though I have no idea why God allows somethings to happen, I know it ultimately brings Him glory and He's with me in whatever storm I have to face. Even if I never see Him, He's there. Life sucks sometimes, not God.

My favourite verse: I will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). That's written on permanent marker on my keyboard so when I open my laptop it's the first and last thing I see.

This is currently my favourite song because the promise of something more contained within:

This is a love
Deep in the soul
O when you love
O when you love
The veil is torn
Mystery pours

Down from above
Down from above

And yet we are under benediction
So there is grace

Hallelujah, we rejoice
What a Savior
What a King
Hallelujah, lift your voice
To our Savior
To our King

O please do stay
Where you remain
Do not fall
Do not fall
Something greater
Is on the way
Just hang on
Try to hang on
Try to hang on

The love of angels
Becomes a love anew
O heavenly light
Takes on a fair skin

What a Savior
What a King